Bad Comedians, Terrible Food & Dumb Criminals... What A Great Week For Jerks!

Hidelly-Ho Readerinos!!!!

Another great week in the history books for this very peculiar country of ours. Yes, I said "peculiar" because that's the best way I can put it. Some would say that this country sucks but it doesn't. We just have to suffer some incredibly stupid inhabitants that want to make life for everyone else miserable. Fortunately, the idiots are not the majority (a fact I hope will be proven come election day in November)so, that's a plus. Nevertheless, jerks will be jerks. Lets see what some of them have been up to this week.

Fake Doogie Howser Strikes Again!

I know what you're thinking... "Awww... This mutha--!"  Yes, Malachi Love-Robinson or "Dr. Love" (SMFH) has been arrested once again, however, this time its for fraud and larceny.  The fake teen doctor was treating an elderly woman, Anita Morrison, for stomach pains. She claims that he cashed close to $3K in checks stolen from her home.  The amount went up to over $30,000 when she noticed that payment were being made from her checking account to pay for a car and credit cards that weren't hers. After his first arrests, Love-Robinson was happy to speak out. He was doing interviews and carrying on as if he was the victim. This time, that's not the case. After being released from jail on bond, the boy had nothing to say to reporters. Really? Now you have nothing to say? This 86 year old woman was suffering from extreme stomach pains that no one could diagnose and was eager to find help. She stated that she was in so much pain that she just went along with whatever the kid told her.  Even a fake doctor would have had enough compassion for an elderly woman to at least refer her to some kind of accredited specialist. You know... Someone who is actually licensed to practice medicine and specializes in treating gastrointestinal problems. But, no. Not only did he steal from the lady but, for her stomach problems, he gave her VITAMINS!!! After being released, the court ordered a mental health evaluation. They should've ordered one the last time he was arrested because its pretty obvious that the kid is a complete quackjob. He says that he's never claimed to be a "M.D." but told an undercover cop during her "exam" that he was a "doctor of homeopathic medicine".  To stick so close to such a cockamamie (Oh, yes... I used that word) phony doctor story one would definitely have to be a few pills short of a medicine cabinet (Every pun intended). I'm very much looking forward to seeing how this develops.  Hopefully he stops being a jerk and gets it together.


Katt Williams VS The World

This has been a crazy week for comedian Katt Williams who was arrested and charged with battery in Georgia for punching a store employee in the face.  According to Williams, the punch came after the employee had the nerve to drop the N-word on the last day of Black History Month. Katt also states that the employee thought he was trying to rob the store and when he pulled out $1500 in cash to prove that he wanted to pay for his items, that's when the employee took and pocketed the money. Everything pretty much went downhill from there. The next day, Williams was accused of attacking and robbing a group of women with his entourage. According to the party of five, they were in Atlanta just visiting when Katt Williams and 15 members of his entourage robbed them at gunpoint of their cell phones while flashing gang signs. Now... This sounds absolutely bogus. First of, it doesn't sound like anything Katt Williams would do (Not that I know him personally but he just doesn't seem like the type). Most people who roll with large posses usually don't have to rob anyone. Why would someone who's broke and need to rob people have an entourage to begin with? Never thought about that one, huh? Secondly, robbed them of their phones while flashing gang signs? REALLY? I call super BS on that one. Unless he was incredibly drunk/high, I doubt that he would flash gang signs much less flash gang signs while robbing people. Unfortunately, things are only getting worse. This past Tuesday, Katt was arrested after he allegedly (God... I love that word) threatened to kill his bodyguard. Police also raided his home and found firearms along with a large amount of pot (Really? You don't say!).  He was released on bond and cannot possess any drugs, alcohol or firearms and surrender his passport.  His girlfriend, Hazel-E (Love & Hip-Hop: Hollywood), was there for the raid and told TMZ once she arrived from GA to LAX that the couple is now "on a break" due to the raid.  She also stated that Katt is very "angry" and she "hopes he gets help".  It does seems that the comedian has been very tightly wound lately.  He's even gone so far as to attack Kevin Hart for being a "puppet" and Chris Rock.  I would think that attacking your fellow Black man and comedian would play right into the "puppeteer's" hands, would it not?  You can't help what you feel or what your opinions are and Katt Williams is more than entitled to his (Even if some don't agree and I do not).  Although he did apologize sort of, he still acted like a jerk. Fortunately, we still have SNL and Jay Pharoah who absolutely MURDERED The Weekend Update last Saturday night when it came to the Katt Vs. Kevin feud. If you missed it, you can watch it here:

Jay Pharoah is incredible. I really hope he's not a "puppet" too...

Department of Agriculture Recalls Plastic NuggetsI personally don't really do fast food like I did when I was in high school. However, it is hard for me to turn down a chicken McNugget. Some fast food places have "nuggets" but McDonald's is the only carrier of the amazingly delicious chicken "McNugget". That crispy golden brown shell encasing some kind of meat they refer to as "chicken" is quite tasty and I could talk about it forever but, unfortunately, we have a very big problem.  Some of us cannot always have the amazing goodness of actual McNuggets so, we go to the supermarket and buy the frozen chicken nuggets you can make at home. Not the same but still kind of ok, right? Not anymore.  The U.S. Department of Agriculture has recalled 4500 pounds of "chicken nugget products" as they may be contaminated with "extraneous plastic materials". The products in question are Applegate Naturals chicken nuggets produced for Applegate Farms by Purdue Foods.  That's just crazy. I've tasted plastic in various versions of chicken nuggets for years and its never bothered me. But, apparently, this is a big deal.  The affected Applegate Naturals chicken nuggets are the 8 ounce 18 piece boxes withe the Best Before date of 9/27/16 and have the establishment number "P-2617" inside the USDA mark of inspection (I guess they missed the plastic).  Purdue learned of the contamination when they started receiving complaints regarding small pieces of solid clear plastic in the nuggets.  Very scary.  There have been no injuries or anything like that related to the nuggets as of yet which is a good thing. But, if you're a fan of these nuggets, please be careful (especially if serving to children).  The affected nuggets were sent to retail distribution centers in Massachusetts (Mom... Tell your friends), NY (I'm already on the lookout), Texas, Florida, Georgia, Pennsylvania and Indiana. These are the ULTIMATE JERKS for ruining nuggets and hopefully the word gets out so no one gets sick.

Trump Victory = MASS EXODUS
The state primaries are in full swing officially starting with Super Tuesday. It was a day that had many surprises but none bigger than the one that Google received. On Super Tuesday, after Donald Trump had massive victories on the Republican side, the Google search for "How to move to Canada" jumped by 350%.  Can you guess where the majority of these searches came from?  Only the states with the smartest inhabitants in the land, my Massachusetts. I'm right along with them. It is highly... Let me be clear... HIGHLY unlikely that Trump will be our next president. However, if Americans are stupid enough to elect him, I will be joining my fellow Massholes in the move to our neighbor to the north.  Hopefully it won't come to that. But, come November, if things don't go well it's Montreal for me!

OK... That's it, folks. Please... Please... PLEASE share, comment, re-read and comment some more. Any positive feedback is appreciated and I hope you've been enjoying my posts so far.  I'm going to try to get a schedule down so I have have these blogs done on a certain day every week and, once I do, you'll obviously be the first to know. Talk to you soon!!!

<3<3<3